Friendship - my B³

 

us in 2022 vs us in 2026

we used to be that little girl who did "taichi" in our hostel's living room..

who laugh over stupidest things

who shared food after the most tiring day

who took cares of each other when someone got sick

who was playing chase and run from living room to bedroom... and back again..

who always argued over the smallest, silliest things... just because?

who stood by each other whenever one of us was having a hard time

who pulled someone's hair just to annoy them

who were just little girls whom enjoying their teenage-not-so-teenage years..

and now,

With conversations reduced to a few texts.

Phone calls that happen maybe once a year.

Watching each other's lives unfold mostly through social media.

finally, after 3 whole years... these 4 little girls met again.. found their way back to one another..

time quietly did its work..

one now has a tiny hand to hold...

one carries a little kick in the womb...

one has husband by her side...

and one.... with her 18 cats waiting at home? :p

People really do change...

Syasya now is taking medicine deliberately.. without having someone to give her a full 5 minutes lecture

Ummie who is now walking a little slower, (like a penguin 😝😝) carrying a whole little world inside her..

and Ila finishes her shower in 15 minutess???? when it used to be one longgggg hour...

yes... 

people do change over time.. 

over their own commitment.. 

over their own current priorities..

but, somehow... 

parts of us never did..

something about us still remains..

Ila who is still reaching for her pink blanket which almost lost its pink colour...

Syasya who still be the first one asleep.. right on schedule... 

Ummie who is still fonds of foods... and cares the most..

and us?

We still laugh at things that make no sense to anyone else

We still sit in silence without needing to fill it..

we still care, 

still check in, 

still find our way back.

back to us. 

the same girls. just in upgraded version.

us now (2026)

Three years of distance,

Three years of growing,

Three years of becoming adults.

and yet --

every time we meet, it still feel like no time has passed at all..

this friendship isnt measured by how often we talk

but how naturally we pick up where we left off.

and I love that about us.

I love us. (sayang sikit je)

There is a saying;

"Friendship isnt about always walking the same path. It's knowing that- no matter where life takes you, there's someone quietly cheering you from a far."

and I guess, that us?

I am beyond happy to see all three of you finally has someones' hand to hold, 

to rely.. to shared your tears and joy with.

Watching the three of you slowly build your own little families has been one of the most beautiful things I've witnessed.

One of my prayers has quietly been answered by Him—to see each one of you loved, cherished, and genuinely happy with the person you've chosen to spend your lives with.

And me? Well...

I'm just over here, happily preparing for my lifelong role as the single-beautiful-rich aunty.

The one who spoils all the kids, disappears on random holidays, and always shows up with snacks and presents. 😝😝

I'd say that's a pretty good deal too. HAHAHA

So.....

I may be far away (And who knows... maybe it'll take another three years before our next reunion. 😂)

but, please know that.. 

your names are always in my prayers... always..

I may not be there for every little moment, but I will always pray that life treats you kindly, that your homes are filled with peace, and that your hearts remain happy.

And whenever life gets a little too heavy...

Run to me.

No matter the distance.

I'll be here.

I've always been here.

And I'll always be here.

Till then -- Take care B³

Tengok laa.. sekarang ni pun dah shopping kat babies section je

hahahahah

Marriage

Marriage.

Lahhh lepas 5 tahun buat comeback terus topic berat ek😆 

Just another random thought time time pukul 1 pagi ni. 

---

A 15 years old me would probably disappointed (or happy?) if she knows that this 28 years old girl version of her havent married yet.

The one who once said, "by 25, I MUST GET MARRIED. BY 26, YOU MUST HAVE A KID OF YOURS. MAKING YOUR PARENTS A GRANDPARENT."

Little that she knows, her 28 version of her still standing here.

Alone. Figuring what life is.

Figuring which countries she wanna go next.

Which license she wanna take after the diving license.

Figuring how to make her teaching life better.

Figuring how to tepis all the gossips people make about her just because she's talking to her man colleagues

Finding her lost sparks.

Figuring when she's gonna go for Nevis Swing🤭

This 28years old version of her is still alone.

With not even a slight blurry view of her jodoh.

With not even marriage in her mind.

Haha. Funny.

My 15years old would probably sees marriage as one of her achievement when she grew up.

But, her current 28th didnt even put marriage as part of her life goal. Not even close.

"Kenapa tak kahwin lagi?"

"Imah takde boyfriend ke?"

"Nak akak kenalkan dengan anak kawan akak tak?"

"Mah, ibu baba nak menantuu."

And all sorts of questions regarding jodoh.

Am I that blunt and blind to see all this? 

Am I that nonchalant when it comes to jodoh? 

Am I that feelingless when it comes to man?

The truth is I am in the phase yang 'aku malas pikir.' Haha

I am just at the phase where I put everything on HIM.

I fall everything on HIM.

I dont wanna think. I dont wanna act.

I dont wanna expect anything.

I just.... dont wanna get hurt...

Sumpah malas pikirr when it comes to marriage.

Siapa nak saya, meh laa jumpa baba. Kita pm tepi. Haa gitu

Deep down... these are things I used to think and ask myself..

Do I wanna have my own family? Yes.

Do I wanna hold my own child? Of course.

Do I wanna feel the kick from inside of my womb? YES.

Do I wanna have someone reliable to share my life with? A big yes.

Do I have a vision of man that I want? Yes.

But, do I brave enough to approach man? No.

Do I wanna marrying just anyone just to feel the void? NO.

For me, life is much more than a man. Life has so much things to be taken for and be grateful for. 

Macam-macam nikmat dan rahmat dah Allah bagi.. Alhamdulillah.. like, seriously.. Alhamdulillah for that..

But, I do wanna build my own family one day. In shaa Allah. If Allah will. 

I want a reliable man. Who will help without being asked.

A responsible man. 

The man who can lead cause I am still a struggling muslim.

The calm man. Soft spoken cause I am sensitive😌 

The one that when I see, my eyes would lit.

The one that is the calm to my storm. someone who completes me in every way, who can lead, who is responsible, who is the calm to my storm, who can accept every of my flaws, who can manage my strength without feeling insecure... who is kind and good to my loved ones and people around me.. who is the best for me in Allah's words.. who can help me being a better servant, wife, and mom?

Sounds heavy right? Tinggi betul standard perempuan ni😂 Tapi sebenarnya, I just want a man who brings me peace. Not another pain to deal with...

In the mean time, I will just wait for his sign, live my life to the fullest. And wait for that bravest man who is going to shake hand with my baba saying the akad. Cepat sikit ek kumpul keberanian tu sebelum saya 30 tahun. Please ek.. takkan aku yang nak kena approach dulu.. kitonyo pemalu🤣 #nekannekan

So-- where is that bravest man? 😛

New Journey - A teacher.

 Assalamualaikum

It has been awhile. banyak betul hutang entry ni. tapi takde masa nak write everything. so, let's start this 2022's entry with this new life transition of mine. haha.

 I was interviewed by SPP on 22/09/2021. the questions were tough. but guess what? I DID IT!!

me after my interview. lepas interview baru mampu makan.

kalau tak, rasa nak muntah. nervous. haha.

the team.

And received the result for the interview on 25th Nov 2021. the result...... 

 

I DID IT! I EXCELL IN MY SPP'S INTERVIEW GENK!!!! 

and that's me when I received the news. haha

on 28th December 2021, I received my posting news. I am being posted to a school in Kulai. and dah lapor diri at 3rd of January haritu. alhamdulillah. 

it is stillll too overwhelming for me to accept all theseee. tak tau nak rasa apa. I will always be the one yang alwaysssss anxious whenever there is a transition in my life. apatah lagi this kind of transition. from a little girl to A TEACHER? like, seriously? still unprepared to enter adulthood. hahaha. but, I am very sure that everything is going to be damn fine even though it will be a really rough road and a roller coaster journey. pray for me! 😟

an awkward potato. haha.

today is my first day (unofficially) coming to school. tolong kemas kelas and all. I was awkward cause I am a very social anxious person. tak tau macam mana nak survive. but, it will become better after few months of adjusting myself there. Hrap-harap cikgu sikgu semua faham laa. aaaaaaaaa. nervous. haha.

me on my lapor diri dayy. heee.

All in all, I guess I started my 2022 with a very good start. with a new unbothered me. hoping to mend the broken 2021 imah and mould her into a brand new person. just wanna be me and not allowing anyone entering my life anymore. so, yeah. hope you are going to have a great 2022 too!! may everything be eased for all of us in dunya and akhirah and may our lives be filled with happiness, peace and prosperous health. stay safe and take care everyone. see you soon in the next entry yang tak tau lagi bila. hahah. till then, take care. bais!

Thank you for reading this entry!

5 years - The End

 Assalamualaikum

I know this entry is kind of late, but, nahh. just feeling like this needs to be posted as it is part of my life journey? hehe. So, let's start. :p

Looking back at 5 years ago.

I was the one who didn't even know why I was sitting there, in the IPGKBA main hall, facing all the facis yang tengah marah-marah with no reason. Confused. I even questioned myself (a lot 😂). Why am I taking this course to pursue my study when my passion is maths and accounting. (Note that I get A+ for both of them :p) I don't know how I ended up in IPBA when I thought I screwed up my interview. But, only GOD knows. 

I was that scaredy cat, who was 24/7 anxious. was very scared and timid to even answer my lecturer's simple question. 😂 who will always keep her mouth shut and avoiding any possible eye contact.😝 why? because I don't know how to speak in English. and I don't want to. I was scared. scared of being judged? scared of making mistakes? scared of lecturers? nahh. just scared of everything. heh.

I have sat for MUET thrice. The first one was only band 3. and the 3rd and 4th are band 4. I can say the marks are improving. hehe. but, I still need to get band 5. uhuks.

But, heyy. look at me now. I know I did improve a lotttt. Even though I still have many grammar mistakes here and there, I am more confident in using English. Plus, I only got 3.23 cgpa for my first sem and managed to finish my degree with 3.57. and managed to get anugerah pengarah twice (But only got one sijil. sedih.). Hence, I know. I know I deserve a biggggg pat on my shoulder.😂😂

                                

Happy dah habis. But, there's a lot more out there to explore. heh.

Without strong encouragement and support from friends, lecturers and especially, my family, I would not be able to finish this degree. No kidding. I even thought of leaving IPBA during the first week of orientation. (tapi, sebab taknak pergi bilik kaunseling, and taknak mengaku masa ada lecturer tanya siapa datang sebab parents😂😂)

It was indeed a thrilling 5 years of roller coaster ride. but, all in all, good job dearself. you did a really good job. and I am proud of you. and really really really proud of you.

                          

Wanna know another accidental "achievement"?
I've lost 11kgs. Entered IPBA with 59kgs and left with only 46kgs. hahaha. Let's go through these pics.

2017 me

2018 me

 

2019. Tahun start turun berat mendadak. 

kiri feb, kanan tu Oktober 2020. Beza kan? hehe

2020 me

 
feb and march 2021. takede yang latest. sebab sekarang pun tinggal 45kgs je. uhuks.

Belajar kat IPG is very challenging. because imagineeeeee. you have to finish 30 assignments per semester (in 4 months, tolak exam and cuti sem). yaa. imagine. sebab tu kot kurus. haha. But, I really learn a lottt of thingssssssss. like, a lottttt. and, I had fun. really. It was a fun journey which I will always want to look back and told my cucus (If I have any 😛).

that's all kot. hehe. bai! see you in the next entry😝

Thank you for reading this entry!

Blup Blup Blup Trip 1

Assalamualaikum

Okay. tauu dah lambat sangat ni, tapi, sorry lahh.. saya busy. baru sempat nak mengedit dan upload. heheheh. btw, entry ni dah ditulis dari bulan 10 lepas dah. tapi, tu lahhh. tak dan nak habiskan. hahahahah. so, enjoy okie!!

______________________

hello genk. hehe. sebenarnya kan... banyak gila entry yang tertangguh. birthday laa, praktikum laa, pastu holiday lagi, pastu life in IPBA lagi, eh, macam-macam laa. tapi, nak buat macam mana. tak tersempat nak menaip.  baru separuh, dah kena settle benda lain. last2, macam tu jee jadi draft. hahahahah. 

tapi. harini, nak rant pasal short vacay dengan ummie, syasya dengan ila. hehe. acah macam nak release stress practicum laa. gittewww. okay, jom start!

Actually, we planned this trip a month before we end our practicum. tapi, macam biasa ahh. mula2 tu macam gi tak gi, pergi ke tak pergi. haa gitu. sebab masing-masing busy. tak menyempat nak pikir. awal-awal, imah sebenarnya yang kena cari hotel pesemua tu. tapi, sebab busy dengan observation semua, tak menyempat nak pikir. sempat cari sikit-sikit je. tu pun jumpa yang mahal. so, last2 syasya yang cari. huhu. sorry kawan-kawan sekalian.

oh, btw, you can watch our journey here --> Blup blup blup trip PD - MELAKA

07 SEPTEMBER 2019

kami bertolak around 9.30 macam tu sebab saya lambat. hehe. asalnya, nak gerak pukul 9. tapi, tu lahhh. kita hanya mampu merancang kan? :p  pagi tu, ila bangun and buat breakfast untuk kami. ila buat sandwich sardin. 

ni laa dia. sarapan dalam kereta. 

dalam pukul 10 lebih gitu, sampai dah PD. and we stopped at one random place ni. somewhere in PD. tepi pantai. tapiiiiiii, pantai dia jelus. hujung2 pun dah dalam. orang yang masuk tu pun dah paras pinggang. so, kitorang just ambil gambar je laa kat situ. hehe. after that, we went to find fooddddddd. sebab semua dah kebulur tak makan lunch lagi.

lepas makan, ingatkan nak gi cari mask. tapi syasya tak sihat. sementara nak tunggu pukul 2 gitu untuk check in, singgah jap kat tepi pantai. lepak-lepak baru masuk hotel untuk check in. oh, by the way, hotel yang kami duduk tu namanya Merlin Hotel. kitorang ambil bilik yang 2 single beds and 1 queen bed. sangat selesa sebab boleh golek2 dari hujung ke hujung. hahahahah. dalam bilik tu, ada tv, hair dryer, mugs, kettle. pastu, toilet dia guna toilet duduk and ada water heater. untuk ruang bawah tu, kecik je. so, kalau nak bentang toto ke apa, around 2 orang je kot yang muat.

I lupa nak ambil gambar bilik tu macam mana. sebab sibuk buat video. hehe

lepas check in semua, we decided to rest first. Semua macam penat and nak tido sekejap. tiba-tiba, semua terlajak tido sampai pukul 5.30 p.m. adehhh. lepas bangun, siap2 apa semua, terus gerak gi pantai PD. makan and tengok sunset. hehe.

ni time baru bangun pastu lapar. ehek

okay, malam pulak. malam tak banyak aktiviti pun. sebab namanya pun vacation? hahahah. malam tu just jalan ke pantai cahaya negeri. ambil gambar, makan, repeat. hehe. lepastu, gi TF value mart nak cari mask kat guardian. balik tu, singgah beli nasi goreng kat satu kedai makan ni. pastu balik, tido. basically, this trip memang pasal makan- tido-ambil gambar-repeat. hahahah. vacation betul ni. :p sebenarnya, we planned to go to one of the fun fair kat PD tu. tapi, rupa-rupanya dah habis dah festival tu. bulan 2 haritu. huhuhuhuhu

 

08 SEPTEMBER 2019

Okay, hari kedua.

On this day, we planned to watch sunrise. but, everyone woke up late. so, we just went for a swimming instead. hehe. Around 8.00 a.m, we went to pantai PD. dengan muka sembab masing-masing. ya tuhannnnn. hahahahah.  oh, btw sebelum semua judge, semua period time ni sebab tu bangun lambat. eheh :p 

Before sampai laut tu, syasya stopped at this random stall to buy nasi lemak and we ate that for our breakfast by the beach. sumpahhh best. haihhh. how i wish i can do this kind of activity everyday. The wave sound was soooooo calming. Makan, pastu dengar bunyi ombak, dengan angin sepoi-sepoi je gitu. Haihhhh seronok teruk!!! And, we also built sandcastle, playing game apa tah nama dia tu and many moreeee. sorry for all the bahasa-rojak. I can't resist it tho. huhu.

lepas mandi-mandi tu gerak balik hotel, mandi pesemua pastu checkout and gerak ke Melaka. eheh.

yang part Melaka ni aku tak bagitau ibu dengan baba awal-awal sebab masa nak bagitau tu dua-dua tengah busy mensyuarat. tangguh punya tangguh pastu lupa nak bagitau. Time dah otw balik baru bagitau. HAHAHAHAHA. ampunn.

otw ke Melaka tu, kitorang singgah kat kedai makan ni untuk lunch. WEH SUMPAH SEDAP!! makan daging salai masak lemak cili api. SEDAP GILA. SUMPAHHHH. TOLONGLAH PERCAYA!!!

ni haaa!! Wagheh Salai

haihh nikmattt

Pastu, kat Melaka, tak de laa banyak sangat pun tempat pergi. Mula-mula gi Klebang, pastu terus ke jonker walk. round-round situ. pastu balik IPBA. heheh

alaaa.. malas laah nak type. tengok gambar je boleh? 😂😂😂

aaaa rindu kuih nii. tapi, tak boleh lawan kuih keria antarabangsa. tapi sedap jugakk!!!

Ni kat klebanggg. Takdak apa pun kat Klebang. Tak yah pi ada foodtruck jeee.

Sampai-sampai je terus gambar. 😛😛

ni time otw cari masjid. sebab tak solat lagi. ehehehehe

cantik wehhh masjid dia. banyak kali dahh jejak melaka tapi tak pernah sampai masjid nii

Jalan-jalan jumpa tempat cantik. pastu kena buat apa kawan-kawan??? Ambik gambar laa 😜😜

kat sini ada cerita best. tengah duk jalan-jalan, tiberrr jumpa crush instagram😭😭😭

hensem terukkkk. aaaaaaaa. okay diam

eee sayanggg laa 3 ketul niiii

acacah sikit. ehehehehe

Tengoklah muka bahagia dua ketul belah kanan tu sebab dapat naik becaaa. HAHAHAHAH

Cantik kann malam-malamm

Sebelum balik tu, pi singgah family mart beli makanan semua. pastu, balikkk. ehehehe. haihhhh. rindu pulakk

 

Okay thats the end of our trip. ehehehehehe

Thank you for reading this entry!