Friendship - my B³

 

us in 2022 vs us in 2026

we used to be that little girl who did "taichi" in our hostel's living room..

who laugh over stupidest things

who shared food after the most tiring day

who took cares of each other when someone got sick

who was playing chase and run from living room to bedroom... and back again..

who always argued over the smallest, silliest things... just because?

who stood by each other whenever one of us was having a hard time

who pulled someone's hair just to annoy them

who were just little girls whom enjoying their teenage-not-so-teenage years..

and now,

With conversations reduced to a few texts.

Phone calls that happen maybe once a year.

Watching each other's lives unfold mostly through social media.

finally, after 3 whole years... these 4 little girls met again.. found their way back to one another..

time quietly did its work..

one now has a tiny hand to hold...

one carries a little kick in the womb...

one has husband by her side...

and one.... with her 18 cats waiting at home? :p

People really do change...

Syasya now is taking medicine deliberately.. without having someone to give her a full 5 minutes lecture

Ummie who is now walking a little slower, (like a penguin 😝😝) carrying a whole little world inside her..

and Ila finishes her shower in 15 minutess???? when it used to be one longgggg hour...

yes... 

people do change over time.. 

over their own commitment.. 

over their own current priorities..

but, somehow... 

parts of us never did..

something about us still remains..

Ila who is still reaching for her pink blanket which almost lost its pink colour...

Syasya who still be the first one asleep.. right on schedule... 

Ummie who is still fonds of foods... and cares the most..

and us?

We still laugh at things that make no sense to anyone else

We still sit in silence without needing to fill it..

we still care, 

still check in, 

still find our way back.

back to us. 

the same girls. just in upgraded version.

us now (2026)

Three years of distance,

Three years of growing,

Three years of becoming adults.

and yet --

every time we meet, it still feel like no time has passed at all..

this friendship isnt measured by how often we talk

but how naturally we pick up where we left off.

and I love that about us.

I love us. (sayang sikit je)

There is a saying;

"Friendship isnt about always walking the same path. It's knowing that- no matter where life takes you, there's someone quietly cheering you from a far."

and I guess, that us?

I am beyond happy to see all three of you finally has someones' hand to hold, 

to rely.. to shared your tears and joy with.

Watching the three of you slowly build your own little families has been one of the most beautiful things I've witnessed.

One of my prayers has quietly been answered by Him—to see each one of you loved, cherished, and genuinely happy with the person you've chosen to spend your lives with.

And me? Well...

I'm just over here, happily preparing for my lifelong role as the single-beautiful-rich aunty.

The one who spoils all the kids, disappears on random holidays, and always shows up with snacks and presents. 😝😝

I'd say that's a pretty good deal too. HAHAHA

So.....

I may be far away (And who knows... maybe it'll take another three years before our next reunion. 😂)

but, please know that.. 

your names are always in my prayers... always..

I may not be there for every little moment, but I will always pray that life treats you kindly, that your homes are filled with peace, and that your hearts remain happy.

And whenever life gets a little too heavy...

Run to me.

No matter the distance.

I'll be here.

I've always been here.

And I'll always be here.

Till then -- Take care B³

Tengok laa.. sekarang ni pun dah shopping kat babies section je

hahahahah

Marriage

Marriage.

Lahhh lepas 5 tahun buat comeback terus topic berat ek😆 

Just another random thought time time pukul 1 pagi ni. 

---

A 15 years old me would probably disappointed (or happy?) if she knows that this 28 years old girl version of her havent married yet.

The one who once said, "by 25, I MUST GET MARRIED. BY 26, YOU MUST HAVE A KID OF YOURS. MAKING YOUR PARENTS A GRANDPARENT."

Little that she knows, her 28 version of her still standing here.

Alone. Figuring what life is.

Figuring which countries she wanna go next.

Which license she wanna take after the diving license.

Figuring how to make her teaching life better.

Figuring how to tepis all the gossips people make about her just because she's talking to her man colleagues

Finding her lost sparks.

Figuring when she's gonna go for Nevis Swing🤭

This 28years old version of her is still alone.

With not even a slight blurry view of her jodoh.

With not even marriage in her mind.

Haha. Funny.

My 15years old would probably sees marriage as one of her achievement when she grew up.

But, her current 28th didnt even put marriage as part of her life goal. Not even close.

"Kenapa tak kahwin lagi?"

"Imah takde boyfriend ke?"

"Nak akak kenalkan dengan anak kawan akak tak?"

"Mah, ibu baba nak menantuu."

And all sorts of questions regarding jodoh.

Am I that blunt and blind to see all this? 

Am I that nonchalant when it comes to jodoh? 

Am I that feelingless when it comes to man?

The truth is I am in the phase yang 'aku malas pikir.' Haha

I am just at the phase where I put everything on HIM.

I fall everything on HIM.

I dont wanna think. I dont wanna act.

I dont wanna expect anything.

I just.... dont wanna get hurt...

Sumpah malas pikirr when it comes to marriage.

Siapa nak saya, meh laa jumpa baba. Kita pm tepi. Haa gitu

Deep down... these are things I used to think and ask myself..

Do I wanna have my own family? Yes.

Do I wanna hold my own child? Of course.

Do I wanna feel the kick from inside of my womb? YES.

Do I wanna have someone reliable to share my life with? A big yes.

Do I have a vision of man that I want? Yes.

But, do I brave enough to approach man? No.

Do I wanna marrying just anyone just to feel the void? NO.

For me, life is much more than a man. Life has so much things to be taken for and be grateful for. 

Macam-macam nikmat dan rahmat dah Allah bagi.. Alhamdulillah.. like, seriously.. Alhamdulillah for that..

But, I do wanna build my own family one day. In shaa Allah. If Allah will. 

I want a reliable man. Who will help without being asked.

A responsible man. 

The man who can lead cause I am still a struggling muslim.

The calm man. Soft spoken cause I am sensitive😌 

The one that when I see, my eyes would lit.

The one that is the calm to my storm. someone who completes me in every way, who can lead, who is responsible, who is the calm to my storm, who can accept every of my flaws, who can manage my strength without feeling insecure... who is kind and good to my loved ones and people around me.. who is the best for me in Allah's words.. who can help me being a better servant, wife, and mom?

Sounds heavy right? Tinggi betul standard perempuan ni😂 Tapi sebenarnya, I just want a man who brings me peace. Not another pain to deal with...

In the mean time, I will just wait for his sign, live my life to the fullest. And wait for that bravest man who is going to shake hand with my baba saying the akad. Cepat sikit ek kumpul keberanian tu sebelum saya 30 tahun. Please ek.. takkan aku yang nak kena approach dulu.. kitonyo pemalu🤣 #nekannekan

So-- where is that bravest man? 😛